goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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