I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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