you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
