lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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