why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
