Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
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I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
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He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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