Having a random hookup so left but love u
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Randomize