I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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