stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
