take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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