I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
