'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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