1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
