He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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