Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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