R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
