I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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