hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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