i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
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