No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
