Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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