am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
