Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.