Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately. http://tfl.nu/vgak
  Replies (18) Good night (2246) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore? (989): I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own http://tfl.nu/vduq
  Replies (24) Good night (2621) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb. http://tfl.nu/zkca
  Replies (15) Good night (3226) Bad night (969)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga... http://tfl.nu/n729
  Replies (12) Good night (5476) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid http://tfl.nu/u0xl
  Replies (18) Good night (3352) Bad night (1202)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  New game: find the sober person in Tbell

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): New game: find the sober person in Tbell http://tfl.nu/sv6g
  Replies (8) Good night (4649) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty. http://tfl.nu/tep7
  Replies (30) Good night (14879) Bad night (1328)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer http://tfl.nu/0sxh
  Replies (5) Good night (1572) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center http://tfl.nu/rfee
  Replies (9) Good night (2647) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life. http://tfl.nu/ggam
  Replies (4) Good night (2074) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (660): The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working. http://tfl.nu/zgl5
  Replies (5) Good night (1208) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material http://tfl.nu/6zdu
  Replies (6) Good night (1462) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina. http://tfl.nu/fw3t
  Replies (2) Good night (376) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could

  (1306): View more from

  well, that escalated quicky

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could (1306): well, that escalated quicky http://tfl.nu/lv5m
  Replies (5) Good night (1304) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong http://tfl.nu/9evz
  Replies (1) Good night (908) Bad night (263)

Randomize