Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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