Apparently you make a good broom.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
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I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
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I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.