Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice

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  (510): my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice http://tfl.nu/x5d6
  Replies (4) Good night (1829) Bad night (496)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.

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  (443): There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers. http://tfl.nu/zfa6
  Replies (24) Good night (1234) Bad night (2893)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?

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  (609): How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does? http://tfl.nu/dymy
  Replies (46) Good night (675) Bad night (6005)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real

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  (817): this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real http://tfl.nu/fl2e
  Replies (63) Good night (6261) Bad night (891)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night

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  (647): Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night http://tfl.nu/qsqx
  Replies (10) Good night (871) Bad night (4890)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.

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  (303): Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me. http://tfl.nu/hog8
  Replies (3) Good night (1002) Bad night (2433)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.

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  (504): You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw. http://tfl.nu/90j8
  Replies (6) Good night (3036) Bad night (1214)
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  (310): View more from California

  I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?

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  (310): I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me? http://tfl.nu/lgs0
  Replies (5) Good night (2474) Bad night (677)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.

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  (919): I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over. http://tfl.nu/red4
  Replies (3) Good night (815) Bad night (1352)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior

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  (508): nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior http://tfl.nu/s256
  Replies (6) Good night (2264) Bad night (850)
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  (949): View more from California

  Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?

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  (949): Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit? http://tfl.nu/15qi
  Replies (8) Good night (1413) Bad night (560)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.

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  (734): Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life. http://tfl.nu/cgob
  Replies (3) Good night (1518) Bad night (359)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.

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  (806): I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots. http://tfl.nu/ai8j
  Replies (0) Good night (256) Bad night (507)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'

  (406): View more from Montana

  I AM SO PROUD OF YOU

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  (307): Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina' (406): I AM SO PROUD OF YOU http://tfl.nu/0zsn
  Replies (1) Good night (512) Bad night (201)
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  (716): View more from New York

  "There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."

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  (716): "There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days." http://tfl.nu/ks69
  Replies (7) Good night (365) Bad night (222)

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