just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
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i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
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Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit