Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We should go out drinking together soon

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm still not going to have sex with you

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  (248): We should go out drinking together soon (734): I'm still not going to have sex with you http://tfl.nu/vh87
  Replies (22) Good night (691) Bad night (1411)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  Lol no its called college

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  (216): Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER? (1-216): Lol no its called college http://tfl.nu/1cpq
  Replies (44) Good night (3541) Bad night (569)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.

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  (515): i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move. http://tfl.nu/cgsd
  Replies (22) Good night (886) Bad night (4334)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again

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  (617): you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again http://tfl.nu/3f6n
  Replies (10) Good night (5635) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?

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  (570): how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge? http://tfl.nu/xxhq
  Replies (8) Good night (4386) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.

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  (718): we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love. http://tfl.nu/cgcu
  Replies (9) Good night (4925) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.

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  (440): he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life. http://tfl.nu/ggva
  Replies (14) Good night (8523) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?

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  (831): i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock? http://tfl.nu/twxe
  Replies (5) Good night (4954) Bad night (1048)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.

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  (607): Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey. http://tfl.nu/4gnd
  Replies (13) Good night (4404) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.

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  (215): you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger. http://tfl.nu/jxnv
  Replies (16) Good night (3470) Bad night (3791)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.

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  (215): A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts. http://tfl.nu/gdkg
  Replies (20) Good night (4221) Bad night (1048)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack

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  (217): I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack http://tfl.nu/dmpk
  Replies (6) Good night (915) Bad night (2312)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte

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  (845): I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte http://tfl.nu/yyhp
  Replies (3) Good night (1175) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".

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  (507): You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air". http://tfl.nu/l9as
  Replies (4) Good night (1073) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.

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  (315): Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised. http://tfl.nu/8j6k
  Replies (3) Good night (754) Bad night (325)

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