HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
