I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
