I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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