awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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