When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
