You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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