I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
ugly people sure do ruin things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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