do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
