he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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