it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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