May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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