Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
