I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize