pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
