As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize