Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
