margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
