Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
