But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
