we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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