Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
