it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just had sex on a roof
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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