I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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