Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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