idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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