I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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