yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
