all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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