on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
