i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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