it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
