Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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