they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
