I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
