: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
