Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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