he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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