Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
So squirting runs in the family.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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