But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
